100 Best Funny Dad Jokes for Kids

Best Dad jokes for kids are a brand of humor unlike any other. They make you wonder whether you should laugh out loud over an ingenious pun or roll your eyes so hard you can see your brain. With this brand of humor, you just never know what to expect: a cheesy knock-knock joke or a one-liner that’s so bad, it’s good!

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Why did the dad joke go to therapy? Because it couldn’t tell if people were laughing with it or at it.

There’s no shortage of them around, but if you’re looking for the best dad jokes for kids- corny, silly, one-liner, cheesy puns, you better stick around. We’ve curated some of the most funny dad jokes for kids of all ages guaranteed to make any child LOL. 

Even if they just groan and roll their eyes, consider the job done—because that’s what dad jokes are all about. Take your time with these; your kids might need a second or two before they can make sense of the goofy pun you hit them with, or a one-liner they never saw coming!

100 Best Dad Jokes for Kids That Are Really Funny

15 Funny Bad Dad Jokes for Kids of All Ages

Bad dad jokes for kids are all about delivering punchlines that are so silly, they’re good! These goofy, sometimes downright stupid dad jokes are perfect for kids who love to laugh at how bad they are. Whether it’s around the dinner table or during car rides, these jokes are a surefire way to bring on the giggles.

1. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
2. What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
3. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but she said it’s just a bug that’s going around.
4. Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.
5. When I play hide and seek, I always pick the freezer. It’s my chance to have a cool hiding spot!
6. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
7. I told your mother she drew on her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
8. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backward? A receding hareline.
9. What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common? They both have stuffing.
10. Why did the vegetable call the plumber? It had a leek.
11. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.
12. Why did Rudolph get a bad grade on his report card? Because he went down in history.
13. Why don’t skeletons ever use the phone? They have no body to talk to.
14. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
15. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

12 Best Dumb Dad Jokes for Kids

If you’re looking for dad jokes that are so simple they seem hilarious, then dumb dad jokes are the way to go. These jokes thrive on their sheer absurdity, making them perfect kids dad jokes for those who don’t mind groaning before they laugh. Share these at school, and they’re bound to become a hit among classmates.

1. Whenever I try to eat a healthy lunch, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
2. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
3. Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.
4. I told a customer at the ATM, “Could you check my balance?” So I pushed him. His balance wasn’t that great.
5. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
6. I’m reading my anti-gravity book and I just can’t put it down!
7. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
8. My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
9. What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A milk dud.
10. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
11. What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with a computer? A pine-apple.
12. What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was “loaf” at first sight.

13 Best One-Liner and Punny Dad Jokes for Kids

One-liners and puns are the bread and butter of dad jokes for school. These short but clever jokes work best when delivered quickly, allowing the punchline to hit with just the right amount of surprise. You’ll find that these hilarious dad jokes work on both kids and adults who appreciate a sharp pun.

1. I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
2. Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.
3. Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology. I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.
4. What country’s capital is growing the fastest? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
5. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.
6. Why was the turkey the drummer in the band? Because he had drumsticks.
7. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
8. I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line.
9. Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be “justwater.”
10. Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle? Because there are so many CHEETAHS!
11. I once had a dream that I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta-sea.
12. We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.
13. I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.

15 Classic Dad Jokes for Kids of All Ages

When it comes to Corny Dad Jokes, classics never go out of style. These timeless jokes are ideal for any occasion, offering a blend of harmless humor and kids dad jokes that everyone can enjoy. Bring these out at family gatherings or during casual chats, and watch everyone roll their eyes with a smile.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.
3. Where do hamburgers go dancing? A meat-ball!
4. I used to hate the hokey pokey, but I really turned myself around.
5. Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.
6. Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America? Because they missed their plane.
7. How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!
8. Two windmills were sitting on a hill when one asked the other if they had a favorite song? All my life, I have been a heavy metal fan!
9. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
10. Why did the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents.
11. Why don’t skeletons ever fight? They don’t have the guts.
12. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
13. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
14. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
15. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

15 Best Corny Dad Jokes for Kids

For those who love to embrace the cringe-worthy side of humor, corny dad jokes are the ultimate in family-friendly fun. These jokes are designed to be so cheesy that they’ll have kids both laughing and groaning. Share these stupid dad jokes with your kids and they’ll never see the punchlines coming!

1. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meat!
2. “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
3. How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Just look for the gray hares.
4. If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you? An iWitness.
5. Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America? Because they missed their plane.
6. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
7. Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta, so we’re “penneless.”
8. Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
9. My kid is blaming me for ruining their birthday. That’s ridiculous, I didn’t even know it was today!
10. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!
11. What do snakes like to study in school? Hissss-tory!
12. Where do hamburgers go dancing? A meat-ball!
13. I hate Velcro. It’s a rip off.
14. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
15. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.

15 Funniest Halloween Dad Jokes for Kids of All Ages

Halloween dad jokes bring the perfect blend of spooky and silly to the table. With a playful nod to the season’s ghouls and ghosts, these jokes are great for light-hearted fun during Halloween. Whether kids are preparing for trick-or-treating or just enjoying the fall festivities, these jokes will add to the excitement with a touch of humor.

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
   They don’t have the guts.
2. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
   Wrap music.
3. Why did the vampire go to the party?
   Because he was dying to have a bite.
4. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
   With a pumpkin patch.
5. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
   I scream.
6. Why don’t ghosts like to go out in the rain?
   Because it dampens their spirits.
7. Why are graveyards so noisy?
   Because of all the coffin.
8. What do witches use to keep their hair up?
   Scare spray.
9. Why did the zombie go to school?
   He wanted to improve his “dead-ucation.”
10. What room does a ghost not need?
    A living room.
11. Why don’t mummies take vacations? 

They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

12. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?

The living room.

13. Why did Dracula become a teacher? 

Because he wanted to suck at teaching… just kidding, he wanted to help others “count.”

14. Why did the witch stay in school? 

To improve her “witch-craft.”

15. How do ghosts wash their hair? 

With shamboo!

Related Reading: Funny Halloween Jokes and Puns for Kids

15 Best Christmas-Themed Dad Jokes for Kids

Christmas dad jokes are a fun way to spread joy and laughter during the holiday season. These festive jokes can be shared at family gatherings, in school, or even while decorating the tree. They capture the magic of Christmas with playful humor, making them a hit for kids and adults alike as everyone embraces the spirit of the season.

1. How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
   Nothing, it’s on the house.
2. Why was the turkey the drummer in the Christmas band?
   Because he had drumsticks.
3. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
   Do you smell carrots?
4. Why did Rudolph get a bad grade on his report card?
   Because he went down in history.
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
   Frostbite.
6. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
   They always drop their needles.
7. Why was the Christmas tree so bad at sewing?
   It couldn’t stop “needling.”
8. What do elves learn in school?
   The elf-abet.
9. How does a snowman get around?
   He rides an “icicle.”
10. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
    He gives them the sack.
11. Why did Santa go to music school?
    To improve his wrapping skills.
12. What do you call a reindeer who loves telling jokes?
    A “comeddeer.”
13. Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital?
    Because he has private elf care.
14. What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast?
    Frosted flakes.
15. Why is it so cold at Christmas?
    Because it’s Decembrrrrr!

Related Reading: Funniest Christmas Jokes for Kids

Keep Them Coming!

Good dad jokes for kids that stick are really something, aren’t they? Whether it’s a pun about  vampires and vegetables, or jabs at the silly things dads are known for, it’s impossible to get enough of them. You can always count on dad jokes to make them roll their eyes, or laugh out loud. Sometimes, all at the same time!

Related Reading: Best Kids Jokes for All Age Groups

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